Lead Your Finances Like a Man and Eliminate Financial Fights

Money problems typically don’t come from not having enough. They come from not having a plan. Most married men think they have a plan because they have a 401K or Roth IRA set up, a savings account, a college fund, maybe a whole life policy, and a stock or crypto trading account.

I'm talking about something different here.

If you really want to dramatically reduce financial arguments with your wife (or your future wife), you need a system that takes the guesswork out of your money. This is leadership in action—deciding ahead of time where every dollar goes (while still having fun) and sticking to that plan.

Some of you need to hear this: stop waiting for someone else to be the CEO or CFO of your home finances.

Whether you’re married or single, here’s how to take a principle-driven approach to your finances:

Step 1: Decide Where Your Money Goes (Before You Get Paid)

Most people spend first and save later. Not you. You’re flipping that script. Before your paycheck even hits your account, sit down with your wife—and decide the exact percentages that go into each part of your life. Here's a sample recommendation:

• Living Expenses (35%)
• Long-Term Savings (20%)
• Debt Repayment or College Fund (10%)
• Investments (10%)
• Fun / Vacation / Discretionary Spending (5%)
• Giving (10%)
• Wife's Whatever Spending (5%) - some of you will laugh at this percentage.
• Husband's Whatever Spending (5%)

Pick the percentages that fit your situation, but stick to them. These aren’t suggestions—they’re decisions.

And here’s a forward-thinking move for all the single men: create a "future wife" account. Yep, you read that right. Imagine setting up a designated spending account now for the woman who’s going to share your life one day. Seed it with some cash each month. This mentally prepares you for what's it's like to not get to spend all of your money on whatever you want.

Step 2: Split It Up (Seriously, Separate Accounts)

Here’s where it gets real. Open multiple bank accounts—one for each category. You can easily open up new accounts online or in the branch.

And here’s the key: for your long-term savings and investments, open those accounts at a separate bank. For example, if you use Wells Fargo, open up a Chase or Schwab account for those. Out of sight, out of mind. This way, there’s no temptation to dip into them for impulse buys.

Put a custom label on each account with the percentages through your online banking portal:

Primary Bank

• Living Expenses - 35%
  use this account to receive funds, then distribute funds across accounts each month.
• Wife Account or "Future Wife Account" - 5%
  She gets to spend this however she pleases without any flack from you.
• Husband Account - 5%
  You get to spend this however you please (at least in theory).

Secondary Bank

• Long-Term Savings Account / Emergency Fund - 20%
  Have this account in another bank so that you don't feel tempted to draw from it.
• Fun / Vacation Account - 5%
  Same idea as above.
  
  

Brokerage Account

• Investments - 10%
  This could be a portfolio of investments with different accounts
• College Fund - 10%
  No kids? Redistribute it.
  
  

Goes to Charitable Org(s)

• Monthly Giving - 10%
  Doesn't necessarily need its own account, can be direct deposit.

By splitting your money this way, you prevent it from becoming one giant pile of stress. Every dollar has a job, and there’s no confusion over what it’s supposed to do.

Step 3: Lead the Monthly Check-In

If you’re married, sit down with your wife every month and go over what you’ve spent, what’s left, and what adjustments need to be made. If you’re single, review your system so you’re ready to lead these conversations when the time comes.

This isn’t about controlling the budget—it’s about leading the conversation. Show her that you’ve got the financial game under control.

Step 4: Stick to the Plan

Once you’ve set up your system, the hardest part is sticking to it—especially when life throws curveballs. But that’s the point of leadership. You’ve made decisions ahead of time, so now it’s about following through.

Do this distributions on the same day every month, right after you get paid. If you're a small business owner, keep reading, I got you.

Your wife will notice the confidence that comes with this kind of financial leadership. She’ll feel safer, more relaxed, and more connected when she sees that you’ve got this under control.

Final Comments

As somebody who has paid down nearly $60,000 in family undergraduate and graduate school debt in less than two years, it's all about having a plan and a system.

If you run a business you can apply a similar system using the Profit First method, which flips traditional accounting on its head. You'll do the same thing with your business accounts.

Bottom line, money really matters in marriage and relationship. 

Whether you’re married or single, you’ve got an opportunity to lead with strength and purpose here and when you do, you'll feel better.

This may be difficult at first, but ask yourself if the current system is working.

If it isn't, what do you have to lose by trying something new?

Maybe it's time to reduce stress, build trust, and create a solid foundation for your future.

If you want help with this system you can take the short assessment at the Lion's Den website and book a call.

Onward,

Bart  
Coach & Founder
www.lionsdenprogram.com

Customer Testimonial:

"When I first encountered Bart and the Lion's Den, I was at rock bottom. The previous three years had been a relentless storm of anger, anxiety, and depression, leaving me feeling lost and utterly alone. My sense of self-worth had eroded to almost nothing, and I struggled to find any purpose in my daily existence. I had become a mere shadow of my former self, trapped in a cycle of sadness and despair that seemed impossible to break.

Bart and the Lion's Den didn't just offer me a helping hand; they provided a lifeline that has pulled me from the depths of despair and set me on a path towards a brighter, more fulfilling future. For anyone struggling as I was, I cannot recommend their guidance strongly enough. It truly has the power to change lives."

- Bradford